You know what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It's like no matter what you did, it wasn't enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn't seem to work. And you're suddenly left thinking that you'll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves.
alright imma just just right into this. i hate that i can be having a amazing day & then i come to my room at the end of the day & i just DREAD comming to lay down. cause thats when the pain hits me the most. the memories, the laughs , and the pain . it all comes out like if i cut a vein and blood is porning or or like a fucking truck . i hate it so much . you seem to be fine without me so why does it seem like i have the hardest time being fine to. i holestly wish i could wake up one morning and be like okay i got this im not guna stress it anymore i wont feel pain, but clearly im not that lucky… i hate sitting here thinking about these things. ill be fine eventually.
you weren’t nothing , you were my everything . you werent the same , you were different. you close , but felt very distant. i did trust you at one point but you slipped up & i feel like i’m in the wrong for it . i feel like it mustve been Me who made us the way we are now . your special , TOO…
day 6 : i dont remember this day to much i slept most of the day.
day 7: i feel empty at times part mad part upset but ill be okay.
today day 8: well today i woke up idk dissapointed in a way . you’d think a person that says they care so much about you & never wants to lose you would actually show that. instead they pretend you never existed. but its all good. it hurts trust me it hurts to not just txt you or whatever but i wont. i wont just for the simple fact that you’re showing me how much you dont care & that means i need to start caring less.. whatever ill be fine..im guna take this one day at a time. no more hoping or wishing. just guna let whatever happens happens im so tired of over analyzing everything and trying to figure out everywhich way i should handel it just im guna let thigs happen. yesterday my horoscope told me i need to stop trying and just let things be. so thats what im going to start doing let things be.. im off this . deuces
so i really wrote a REALLY mean post last night, and im kinda glad it didnt load.. smh mayb it was a sign from the big man upstairs that what i was guna say wasnt right.. or wasnt ment for me to have said it. whatever.
so yeah i didnt come up with this idea till now so ive got some catching up to do. well do a quick lil catch up just to sum up everything.
day 1 : im fucking miserable. i hate you.
day 2. : i hate you.
day 3 : everything you ever said to me was a lie.
day 4: fjklasfjlkasfjlkasfj did i say i hate you already?
finally day fucking 5… : ugh why must you be so stupid . honestly i feel like you post shit JUST to piss me the fuck off . cut that shit out i just hate this. i hate you for ever making me feel this fucking empty . i know you might kinda feel the same way but i might be wrong because now shes apparently the love of your life ?! bro —— you ! i cant even say it cause i dont mean it . i fucking hate you…but i still miss you… whatever only time will tell what will happen. deuces